You’re Expecting a Baby Too, Dear Dad!

As Father's Day approaches, it offers a wonderful opportunity to reflect on how much joy fathers and children can bring into each other's lives. The most precious moments of fatherhood are often found in the simplest things – playing together, answering a child's unexpected questions, and discovering the world side by side. These are the moments that enrich a father's life and become cherished memories that stay with a child for a lifetime.

 

A father’s support for his wife during pregnancy is invaluable. By listening to her, caring for her, and being there for her, you are also expressing your love for your baby. Expecting a baby together and growing into parenthood can bring you even closer as a couple. At the same time, a relationship is developing between you and the baby that belongs to the two of you. It can begin long before you first hold your baby in your arms.

 

Today, I also want to speak to you whose baby is still on the way. You have every reason to enjoy this time, get involved, and dream about the future. You are expecting a baby too.

Your first moments together

Perhaps the pregnancy first feels real when you see your baby move on the ultrasound screen and catch yourself smiling. Or perhaps that feeling comes later, when you place your hand on your wife’s belly and feel your baby move. At some point, knowing that a baby is on the way becomes a personal experience.

 

At around 27–28 weeks of pregnancy, your baby begins to open their eyes. They may also respond to a touch on their mother’s belly by moving. A little nudge beneath your hand can feel like a first little hello between the two of you.

 

Sometimes, though, the opposite happens: the baby has been wriggling away, but the moment Dad places his hand on the belly, everything goes quiet for a moment. Then you might say with a smile, “See, the baby knows it’s Dad!” These light-hearted moments are part of expecting a baby too, and may one day become stories your family tells.

 

You do not have to experience everything at the same time or in the same way as your wife. Your bond can grow gradually, with each new moment you share.

Talk to your baby before birth.

During the final months of pregnancy, your baby can hear sounds from outside their mother’s body and may remember sounds they hear repeatedly. Your voice reaches them too. You can tell them about your day, read them a story, or wish them goodnight. You don't need to think of anything special: talk as you would if they were already in your arms.

 

After birth, the warmth of a father’s arms and skin-to-skin contact can help a baby settle. Imagine holding your baby close and quietly saying, “Hello, I’m your dad.” As they gradually settle in your arms, you may feel the moving sense that they have recognized you. At last, you can hold the little person you have already spent so much time talking to.

 

That is why I encourage both mothers and fathers to talk to their baby during pregnancy. These little daily conversations can become one of your family’s most cherished routines.

Sharing the joy of expecting a baby

Over the past twenty years, thousands of men have come to my consulting room with their families. Talking with them has helped me understand how important pregnancy is for the father himself. You, too, have your own ideas about the kind of father you would like to be and what you hope to pass on to your child.

 

Perhaps you are already looking forward to bike rides together, or hope one day to show your child a favorite place from your own childhood. Perhaps, for now, you are mainly wondering what it will feel like to hold your baby for the first time. Share these thoughts with your wife. It gives her a glimpse of what you are looking forward to and lets your shared plans take shape before your baby is born.

 

Choosing a name or wondering who the baby might look like can bring plenty of excitement and laughter. If you already have children, they can share their thoughts and questions too. Welcoming a new family member is something the whole family can share.

Your questions and feelings matter.

When you come to an ultrasound scan with your wife, I want to hear your thoughts and questions too. Perhaps you are curious about what your baby is doing, how they are growing, or what you can see on the screen. Please ask. Understanding an ultrasound image is not an entrance exam for fatherhood.

 

In my consulting room, you can be yourself, with all your strengths and vulnerabilities. You do not have to act as though you are always the strong one. You can show your joy, share your views, and say when something makes you feel uncertain. Your openness helps me understand what your family needs and fulfill my purpose as a doctor: to help you.

 

An ultrasound scan also offers moments of discovery together. If you would like to know your baby’s sex and it is visible on the scan, we usually give the father the opportunity, with my guidance, to recognize it on the screen and say whether you are expecting a girl or a boy. This makes the happy news a moment that the father himself can share with his wife.

 

At the end of the scan, the midwife hands the father the color ultrasound picture of the baby. It is a small gesture that says: you matter here too. The picture is a keepsake of this shared encounter with your baby.

 

At the Fetal Ultrasound Center, mothers and babies matter to us, and fathers and their feelings matter just as much. I want both of you to understand what the scan showed and to have your questions answered. When everything on the scan is as expected, there is every reason to share in that joy.

There is time to grow into fatherhood.

You do not have to know how to do everything before becoming a father. You will learn a great deal alongside your baby and from each other. You can already start talking about how you want to organize everyday family life and what matters to each of you. Sharing your dreams can also help you get to know each other better.

 

Alongside the excitement, a worry or question may sometimes arise. You can talk about that too. If a question only comes to mind after your appointment, write or call. We can look for an answer and help you move forward as you prepare for your baby’s arrival.

 

To you, the father-to-be, I wish plenty of joy and curiosity about your baby during this time. Make time for shared moments, talk about your thoughts, and enjoy what you discover together. By listening to your wife and taking an interest in your baby, you are already part of your child’s life.

Happy Father's Day in advance to all fathers and fathers-to-be!